Dating a man of lower status
I am just wondering how many other men think like this?
For me, it seems plain common sense that, while professional women with masters degrees may be compatible with men in less successful professions, the guy that left school with no qualifications to work in the launderette is highly unlikely to be a good fit.
Literally, the ONLY thing he can do when you tell him that you have nothing in common (without getting to know him) is tell you that you’re wrong for judging people and that this attitude may come back to haunt you. This is one of the big blind spots that women have in dating. So, to be crystal clear: no one (besides the fat, stupid and elderly) is saying that you have to date the fat, stupid, or elderly. The reason that I call this a blind spot for women is because women tend to adhere more to their checklists, which usually call for a man who is just like you, but better.
There’s an obsession with the concept of value and status when you’re dealing with men’s dating advice.
It’s just that we so often go about mistaking status for other things.
For example: the first common mistake is in how value gets defined.
You may be technically correct that he’s not of your social station, but that’s of no concern to the man you’ve just insulted to his face. All of your examples are extreme, but not all men are extreme examples of anything. What I am saying — and what these men are inartfully suggesting as well — is that you don’t marry a list of traits. And if you never think outside the box, you may well find yourself standing alone at the end of the dance. Being viewed (judged) like that is the reason why many men will not even go near a woman who earns even a little bit more than he does.I’ve known plenty of lawyers, doctors, actors, musicians and DJs who have all had miserable dating lives.What about athletes – everybody remembers how popular the jocks were in high-school and college after all? You see, the second mistake is to assume that value and status are universal – that certain things are a hive-mind.In my own life I’ve known many men of privilege – ranging from “comfortably well-to-do” to “richer than God” – who had the same troubles with women that I did.Money by itself clearly didn’t buy love for them; it didn’t even give them that much of an advantage at the negotiating table. Noted Kavorka man and war criminal Henry Kissinger once quipped that “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”, and Lord knows that the man got more ass than a drunk at a donkey auction with a stolen credit card despite the fact that he looks like the Goblin King. One doesn’t get to be the secretary of state to two presidents without having an ability to charm others and after all, a man who was able to negotiate détente with Russia isn’t going to be flummoxed by a pretty lady. It certainly Kevin Bacon once mentioned that “any idiot can get laid if they were famous”.