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James identifies as gay, but his first proper relationship was with a man who did not.

"It's crushing during the relationship and after," he says.

You can’t blame some for not feeling any desperate need to “belong” – with reported crimes against LGTBQ people on the up and a political atmosphere that feels increasingly likely to push back on the community’s hard-won freedoms.

If you are looking to post a bicurious personal ad, look no further!“The first year was strictly a bedroom thing,” he tells me.“The whole time he wasn’t comfortable holding hands or kissing outside.” Even though PDAs were kept to a minimum, it didn’t take long for word to get out.Does it mean their lovers are any less available to them because they won’t pick a side?Of course, nobody needs a label, but for gay and bi guys who worked hard to establish their identity, how does it feel when the man they’re sleeping with won’t do the same?

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